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Miss me?!

Hello, you beautiful and wonderful people! Well it seems it has been awhile since I wrote last and I honestly cannot believe it has been over 8 years since I started this blog, man, if I had kept up it would have been amazing.... But seeing as how I haven't written in 2 years, it is not so miraculous.  Anywho, I have been trying to focus more on self care these days and I remember how much I enjoyed writing in here. So... What's new? Uhmm I want to take the easy way out and say nothing but it has been 2 years, so obviously something is new! 1. I called it quits with my B.Ed for honestly, a lot of different reasons. 2. I went back to doing hair - who would have thought! 3. I went through a really hard breakup and a broken heart. 4. I met the most wonderful human. 5. I dealt with a lot of death. 6. I am starting to figure myself out. Well, where shall we start to elaborate on any of that... How about school...  Well, I did almost 2 years of school and it was hard.
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Recent posts

Where Ya Been Girl?

Well, two posts is more than I made last year, so I guess that is something! I am not entirely sure what I am going to write about today but I am sure there will absolutely be some rambling and ranting along the way! Life is good. I am really enjoying work, which is nice. This is the first time I have just worked and not gone to school as well in a very long time, so having a pay check every two weeks that doesn't go to tuition is AMAZING. Though I know that will make it harder to go back, but I will go back one day, I am sure of it.  I have really been trying my best to figure out what makes me happy and what kind of person I am, which has proven to be a very difficult task. I feel like so many people around me "have it together" and I am just over here making up the moves as I go. About a month and a bit ago, for one of my best friend's stagette we had a psychic come over and she gave us each a private reading. Some things that she mentioned to me, I was unsure
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Turning 25 and the Changes that Came Along With It!

So, in January I turned 25 but with 25 came a lot of changes in my life and inside of myself. I decided that it was time to take a break from school after going for what feels like forever. I began to change my outlook on careers, relationships, kids, material things, everything honestly.  I began to realize that there are so many things in this world that don't have to be absolutes. A friend of mine asked me who I was 5 years ago and it got me thinking about how much I have changed and how much I have grown. "Who was I five years ago?" Well, there were 3 things that came to mind, these 3 things that I was so sure I wanted. 1. I wanted to get married. 2. I wanted to be a mom. 3. I wanted to be a teacher. Pretty common things, I think. Things I was sure I would never waiver on, so sure that I would tell anyone who asked me. This is what I want and this is what I intend on achieving. 5 years ago,  I was on my way, and I sit here today years later, having achieved no
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So, I wrote a book.

What is new in my life?  Well not a whole lot actually,  still going to school,  still have the same friends,  still worrying about everything,  still dealing with anxiety.  Isn't that just the life?  I suppose.  It is mine at least lol. So, I feel like I have spent a lot of my time trying to find my "thing."  I always wanted to be that person who had one thing they were known for.  So I've tried it all,  I draw,  which is fun but I don't find myself constantly doing it and if I decide to do it as gift it seems like more of an effort than something I just enjoy.  I tried scrapbooking... Nope.  I tried running,  nah.  Then baking,  which I actually do love!  But somehow in the midst of looking for my "thing"  I never even realized that I had already found mine and I'd had it for a long time and it had always been my outlet, it had just been something that was always private and I never really put the pieces together.  So,  I guess,  I have always
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Worry. Worry. Worry. All I Do Is Worry.

Well, the title says it all... This is something that I deal with every single day and it's not just a simple worry that I think most people deal with, it's a worry that makes me physically ill, a worry that drives the people I love crazy, a worry that literally eats me up inside. Some days, I think that I am just worrying my life away, waiting for something horrible to happen, losing sleep because I really have a horrible feeling that something is wrong. It's not about getting bombed, or an act of terrorism, it's isn't that I have some sort of disease or I am dying, it's that something has happened to the people that I love. That one day, one of them is going to wake up and realize that they don't need me as much as I need them or need me at all. This type of anxiety is beyond painful and for someone who doesn't deal with it, it seems almost surreal to them. That some minuscule things could affect me in such a way... But when my mom leaves the city to d
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Sorry, You Can Only Wear Crop Tops if You're a Size 2.

So, I spend lots of time reading other blogs of all sorts and I came across one blog that a 17 year old girl who was writing about having  a hard time in high school with everything, mean girls, boys, pressure from her family and from the media. Well, this particular post was about a couple of girls who called her a whale and told her that "you can only wear a crop top if you're a size 2 and you look like a size 14." Well this just really bothered me more than other blogs or posts I had read and maybe it is because I have become invested in this girls blog and I have gotten to know her through her posts and emails we have exchanged. I felt that I could completely relate to her, I remember having severe self image issues when  I was in high school. I remember back then I thought I was huge and now I see pictures of me then and I'm like AWE DAMN! Why don't  I look like that anymore. We never seem to be happy with what we have and always want more, I find. O
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Growing Up... Live and Learn.

Hey guys! Sorry it has been a little while. I just feel like I can't write without some sort of inspiration and today my inspiration isn't the happiest of memories but definitely one of my stepping stones to growing up. On Facebook there is a "On This Day" app and it basically shows you all of your statuses or pictures on that particular day in past years. Well today, June 2nd my Facebook status was about how excited I was to go wedding dress shopping 3 years ago and I sat there reading it and not being able to believe how much had changed within those 3 years. I know I always come back to being engaged and my ex a lot and now that isn't because I'm not over it but honestly, that was probably the biggest turning point in my life thus far. I see all of these statuses each day and they take me down memory lane, they mostly remind me how happy and in love I was, or how many amazing friends I had/have. I say had/have because I can't believe how many people hav
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