All About Shelby

After someone passes away there are so many things that people believe happen to them. But the truth is we don't really have any real proof that anything happens to them. I always liked to believe there was a heaven or reincarnation...something. Perhaps we just tell ourselves these things to make it easier to cope with the loss of someone. I never really knew for sure. I liked to believe that mediums were real and that spirit were really around us all of the time, I think mostly for comfort.  I think I talked about my experience with a medium last year a bit. But I mostly focused on my car accident and didn't really go into to much detail about my experience with her.So when I got to my sisters house, I was really nervous. I'm not sure why exactly, I just really wasn't sure what to expect. I had worked the the day before so I was one of the last ones to arrive and go.  When  I first sat down, she asked me a couple general questions, "how are you today?".... ...

The front of Kensington Palace So, I kind of left ya hanging on the last one there! So after Buckingham Palace we went to Kensington Palace. I was so excited to see it, especially because were allowed to go inside and tour around. It was all recently redone, and they tried to keep a lot of the rooms the same as they were when the Queen lived there! I cant seem to remember what it was called but something like Victoria: Revealed. It was so so so interesting to see. Lorien bought me a book all about it, it is called Discover Kensington Palace and it has a lot of really cool things in it.I will probably write this entire blog about Kensington Palace simply because I loved it so much. So I hope you enjoy! We walked around the side of the building to get in, when we first entered it was a little cafe type thing and then we walked through the gift shop to get up to the counter to pay. I knew that a couple of the girls were a little weary about going in, to be fair it was $65 doll...

Now, being in London, I couldn't sleep at all. I don't think  I slept more than 4 hours at night. Which gave me lots of time to work on all the crap I had due when I returned from the trip. It also gave me lots of time to wander around the hostel at 4 in the morning. I am not sure if I mentioned it, but this hostel's bathrooms were gender shared, the word privacy meant nothing. There were guys and girls everywhere and this was something quite new to me, I figured that it might be better to shower so early in the morning so that there was no one around, guy or girl it didn't matter, I just wanted a little bit of peace and quiet. So, I packed up my shower stuff as quietly as I could so that I didn't wake up the girls in our tiny closet of a room. Packed up my stuff put on my flippy flops and headed down to the shower. It was kind of like a campground or a pool. A bunch of different stalls, I walked in with my music in and fully expecting to see no one in there, I mean...

So, I know this is super delayed and I should have written this one a long time ago and now that I have started I realize it probably would have been much simpler if I did it then because I am trying to remember everything we did, everything I loved and everything I thought was really weird about London. This was truly a trip of a lifetime with my best friends. Sam, Lorien and I were going to visit our best friend Brittany who had been living in England since September... However it actually felt like years. Maybe that was just me. So, we departed from Canada on February 15th, I am gonna say around 1:00 o'clock in the afternoon. We were prepared to land in London the next day at around 6 or 6:30 in the morning. I HATE FLYING. Like hate it. It scares me so much even though I am like 99% more likely to die walking or driving my car I am still petrified of it and I'm not really sure why.  So I take these pills I get from the doctor for anxiety. Needless to say I was not looking ...

This is going to be one that is unbelievably personal... I know that my other ones have been as well but this is something that is really hard for me to talk about and the hardest one to share.... So bear with me. And be kind. There are people out there who always seem to be happy and look on the bright side all of the time. I truly wish I was one of those people... I can be pessimistic and really down somedays and alot of the time these are the days when I just lock myself in my room or go for a walk and try to do something that make me happy. When I have my highs I am elated; to be around people, to go to school. go to work, heck to do anything really... But when I have my lows, it is internal, and although I may be smiling or laughing, something on the inside just brings me down and it is taking all of my energy just to do that. There are very few things and people I rely on to help me when I am stuck in these ruts. Those are the days when it seems like everything is go...

 I know throughout life people meet other people and they are special and important to them... But I also hear that you will never love anyone more than yourself until you have children. However what if that isn't true? What if there are people in your life that you do love more than yourself? A person you would do absolutely anything for? I always read about soul mates and just assumed it was romantic; your soul mate would be someone you married or were in love with. Then I met someone who completely changed my who perception of what a soul mate was. I realized that it was someone you had such a strong connection with it felt like you had known them your entire life. I saw this quote: When I saw this picture it was like all the feelings I had built up thrown onto paper. It is something that you can't understand until it has happened to you. That one person that can make everything okay with just a smile, the one person that seems to understand you better than anyone els...

HERE WE GO!!!! So, throughout life I have always been bigger. Now what "bigger" means, I don't really know. To some people I am chubby, to some I am fat and maybe to some I am obese. Now, I know this. I am not blind to the fact that I am not skinny. Of all the people in the world who should know that, it is me. I am the one with the body. For a long time I really hated myself, I didn't think I was pretty or beautiful and when people told me those things I just shrugged it off. I hate getting compliments, I go all blushy and never really know what to do. Obviously I say thank you, but you know! I just cannot believe the pressures that the media puts on women (and men) to be so perfect. My friends, I am going to let you in on a little secret. Perfection does NOT EXIST. The one thing that you can control no matter what? The kind of person you are. Be kind, be generous, be strong, be stubborn, be the very best version of yourself. That is all that matters in the world...